I'm not sure if I can have any more kids. Don't get me wrong, I adore Luke-I absolutely adore him, he is so fun, cute and such a joy and blessing to have in my life. But lately I feel that I would go nuts if I had another child, I know thats kinda a selfish thought but its true. How do you mothers do it? I mean how do you do the feedings, the cleaning, the cooking, the bills, diaper changes, play time and all the other demanding tasks of being a wife and mother and not feel the following statement: "what about me?"
I've been avoiding writing this post/talking about it because I feel bad for thinking this-like I'm being selfish or ungrateful for my circumstances. But, I found myself waking up this morning in an ALMOST resentment-like attitude to Luke wanting to be fed at 6 am like any other morning while my husband (who could sleep through ANYTHING) is sound a sleep after I've had to wake up several times in the night to give Luke his paci or something of that sort. As I was feeding him I couldn't help but think-"what about me?"
When do "I" get to sleep in, when is it "my" turn to be taken care of instead of me taking care of everything? See it sounds selfish,but at the same time I can't help thinking it.
So, my question to my fellow mothers is this...do you ever ask yourself those same questions and have you come up with any solutions/answers?
Hey Phebes! I clicked on your link via FB. I've got a 4 and 2 year old and those thoughts, "What about me?" still enter my mind. It's hard giving and giving and giving to your baby, your husband, your home, etc., without getting much in return. Believe it or not, the rewards do come, they are sometimes slow coming, but they do come and make it all worth it. I have voiced to my hubby that I need my burdens made lighter too when my own cup feels empty, otherwise I will have nothing left to give. Sometimes he remembers, sometimes he doesn't. :) I make sure I get "me" time by just saying "I'm going, I'll be back in 2 hours." I used to have one night a week "off" from all my duties and that really helped because I always had it to look forward to. Hang in there. I totally feel ya. I have no doubts you're a great Mom....and all of what you're feeling isn't selfish and totally normal.
ReplyDeleteI think every mom goes through that at some point. Its definitely harder when they are younger as well. Do you have other friends with young kids to get together with?? That is my saving grace. I have a few friends in our apartment so we get together to let the kids run around outside while we sit and talk. Having that adult, fun time helps a lot to deal with the kids. Don't be afraid to ask Kevin too. Nick is always understanding when I need a little extra time to myself. Whether I just lock myself in the room or actually go somewhere, i get to do what I want. Just remember Kevin probably will need some time too. :) Hang in there. I wish we were there so we could hang out more. Someday...
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mom but I have a lot of friends who have been in this situation where they feel like they are overwhelmed and I feel like there is never time for just them. One thing that I have heard someone do is one day of the week ( in this case Sunday) her husband took care of their baby (feeding,diaper changes, getting her dressed etc.). It gave her time to sleep in and recover from the week. She said it really helps her to be able to give herself so 'me' time. I also heard that most women with their first kid think I could never have another one. When the time comes I believe no one is ready since you don't know what to expect exactly but it will work out in the end. Also play dates I have heard works wonders since you can have the babies play together and you get to talk to an adult. I hope you get some great advise from other mothers and are able to help you out. I know you are a great mom!!
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